R-Files

Disclaimer: X-Files don't belong to me. Ranma isn't mine. Don't even want to own Sailor Moon if Hotaru is cute (she makes me want to hug her), any other series in this one are not mine either.

Inspired by: X-Files, insanity and a few other things.

Crossovers: Ranma in a X-Files setting (instead of Mulder), Azumanga Daioh cast (Sakkaki instead of Scully, others now and then), Sailor Moon chapter 4 up, then most chapters will have a crossover as well.

Pairings: it's NOT Ranma/Sakkaki, you will see the true pairings by chapter 8 probably.

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Chapter Stage: Night at the Museum (Japanised version)

1st File: They are alive?

"That way" "Back there" "Down the hall"

Finding your new office was not supposed to be difficult. Sakkaki still held out hope to make it for her 10:00 appointment. She was supposed to meet her new partner for the 'Department of Things plain weird'. Upon graduating it was decided that she had the skill and the mentality to not 'run screaming after a week or two'. While she thought that it was supposed to be a praise she was not quite sure about it.

Finally five minutes past meeting time, in what was probably the bottom corner of the building, she had found it. Taking a deep breath she opened the door, naturally after knocking, mouth open to introduce herself to her supervisor she stopped abruptly. Instead of the women who was supposed to be here there was a man, and he was not even wearing the suit all office workers were supposed to.

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Ranma's day hasn't been good. No, not at all.it had started with a Goth filing a complaint about a vampire taking off with her jewelry, sure he had just forwarded that one to Sally, but really those young vampires were simply idiots. Then there had been a visit from some scientists and catastrophic services about several undead rats in the sewers. That one he had forwarded to the Mage Guild, Necromancers were bad enough, though it sounded more like some fool stumbling onto a necromantic text. Magic always confused the heck out of scientific types.

Now he was trying to file the reports in a matter wouldn't confuse the heck out of the people that tried to review his work once in while. Putting down Selestine, Sally for short, down as a specialist on blood oriented thieves was easy enough, mentioning that she lived in a strip club always brought a smile to his lips.

The knock startled him out the internal debate over his filing system.

"Who are you, you are not authorized to …" A tall woman with black, standing in his door, started.

Ranma sighed "Actually this is my domain, I'm Ranma, how can I help you?"

The woman just seemed to stare at him.

A grin of understanding crossed his face, "Let me guess you expected a female, red hair bit shorter then me. Sorry what is your name?"

She was confused the name Ranma was the correct one. "Sakkaki, I'm here to meet my supervisor."

The blink she got in response was one of surprise. "Did you piss your teachers at the academy off, or did you ace it all?"

"I finished top of my class."

"Very well Sakkaki-san do you believe in magic?"

A more and more confused Sakkaki just shook her head.

"Let me get some water, sit down, and prepare to get your worldview shattered."

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Two hours later Sakkaki was beyond confused, girl geniuses, she could handle, this went was further then that.

And it confused the heck out of her.

The filing system was two part, one was for what happened, the other one by name of the victim or case name. It meant that there were two files for each case. Like the robbery, it was filed once under Vampires, and once under the victims name. Then there was the contact list, it spanned all over Japan, it was even indexed, Tokyo Vampires were forwarded to Selestine. Shapeshifters were usually forwarded to the kitsune, those didn't like others messing around with they thought was their domain. Undead magics were sent to the Mage Guild, Undead themselves were mentioned to the resident Lich, Vampire or Necromancer usually. Yuki-onnas had a large 'Avoid if possible' in bright red next to them.

"They really like me, last time I escaped with only my boxers intact, and they are getting better each time."

History of the Department was weird too, it had started out as an unsolved weird folder repository, that was when Ranma started. After solving half of the stuff they made it a Department and most other departments were happy to ignore everything that went on in there. Incidentally it was the liaison office to demon hunters, Senshi and other not quite normal specialists.

At 15:47 they had a visitor. "Ranma, I got something for you, an announcement, some nut wants to rob the museum tonight. We'll wait for them at the back entrance in the morning as usually."

"Okay Hiro, gives Sakkaki and me time for a nap before it." Ranma responded.

The newly identified Hiro gave Sakkaki a pitying look. "Fresh meat, eh, good luck. I hope you can make it." Seeing the senior officer bow to her was very, very disconcerting.

"Don't worry about it, as long as you have an open mind and a good stomach you'll do fine. You didn't run screaming after I showed you my curse."

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After a quick nap at home and some fast food on the way she arrived at the museum at 19:30.

Ranma was already there, and talking to the night-shift guards. "Guys meet, Sakkaki, she's new."

The two man looked her up and down. "Well, you'll do fine with him, luckily everyone in there likes him." He turned back to Ranma "We'll be back at 7:00, we'll need to file a report as well."

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"Ranma-san, why is a robbery at the museum our area? Shouldn't that be something for the police?" Sakkaki asked, rather confused.

Ranma was casually eating a bento box, a home made bento box. "Usually it would be, but in this case there is a standing order to turn all threats concerning the museum over to me. And I think I told you to call me Ranma." After the next piece of sushi he continued. "As for why, you'll see in a moment. Just as soon as it turns dark."

As the sun went down Sakkaki was sure she felt something. Ranma rising and holding out his arms confused her. The two girls appearing on wither side of him startled her.

The first one had silvery hair, her eyes were golden. She was wearing a white kimono with a big silver bow. Upon further looking she decided that the kimono had pale silver stitching all over it. The second was had blood red hair, the intense red eyes were slitted like a cats. Her Kimono was a deep red as well, and seemed to be covered with blotches of a darker red.

After a few moments of complaints about Ranma not visiting them enough, and some gossip he interrupted them. "Girls meet Sakkaki, she my new partner on the job. Sakkaki meet Masamune" He rubbed the head of the silvery girl "and Muramasa." that was the red haired one. Only she bit his hand. "Those two are their greatest swords."

The young woman was confused, the two girls were supposed to be swords?

Seeing her confusion he grabbed the silvery haired one by her hands and suddenly held a sheathed katana instead of a girl. Unsheathing her he went through a small kata, before sheathing her again and dropping her. Both forms and sword were perfect, it was breathtaking.

She gasped twice, first at Ranma, her boss, dropping a priceless sword, then at said sword landing on the ground as a crouching, flushed about 12 years old girl.

"My turn!" the other one declared.

With a sigh her boss complied. The girl turned into a sword as well, only this time the beauty of the sword and kata was one of destruction. Every strike sang of deadliness. At the end he slit his palm on the edge of the sword and let her drink his blood. It reminded Sakkaki of the legend that a Murasama had to draw blood before being sheathed again. She doubted she would ever look at legends the same way before.

Giving his aide a smile, Ranma went over to the intercom, after switching it on, he broadcast it through the whole building. "Hi, Ranma here, we have a possible robbery again, so please all fighters assemble in the main hall, and you ninjas, that means in full sight, I have to introduce you to my new partner."

What followed was pandemonium, several ninjas popped out from somewhere, and others were currently sitting on various ledges and the chandelier. Samurai and soldiers came in rank and file. Several mythological creatures appeared, with the Yuki-onna cuddling up to Ranma, who had the Masamune sitting on his shoulders. A few shogun and generals were standing nearby and having a strategy session.

It was very confusing and strange to the poor woman.

A loud clap silenced everyone. "Since we meet once again, this is Sakkaki, she is my new partner and already taking everything better then the others ever did." Sakkaki bowed as several former emperors regarded her.

"Ranma-sama." Came a voice. "Ranma-sama!" this time there was seductive undercurrent in the way the soft female voice pronounced his name. The nine tailed fox appeared seemingly from nothing next to him, and in turn changed into a pretty brunette nine tailed girl with fox ears. "It has been so long." She breathed softly as she rubbed her face in his chest.

Sakkaki saw everyone rolling their eyes at that. Obviously this was a common occurrence.

Then Ranma clapped his hands and everyone turned to him. It was only then that it occurred to her that everyone listened to him.

As in really listened. The respected him, him a normal human when there were rulers and myths running around. The two swords were only one of the many myths that were obviously very content to listen to him.

"So got the strategy ironed out?"

"We have Ranma-san." A former ruler said, Sakkaki was not sure which one he was though, "we decided to change things a bit this time, it was getting repetitive. We will have the samurai guard the entrances this time, and the ninja ambush any managing to get past them. We have chosen to make the myths random encounters."

Ranma stared at the last one. "Someone has been playing to much rpgs lately."

"I always wanted to fling fireballs around Nariasu" *** defended himself.

Murasama pouted "I don't understand why I am the best healer there is."

"And berserker are no fun at all, kill, smash go into rage and slaughter them all." The Masamune complained.

Maybe opposites did attract each other, Sakkaki decided, the Murasama was blood thirsty but made a great healer? Masamune was a killing machine? It made her poor mind boggle.

"Sakkaki-sama? Would you like some tea?" the woman in question turned and regarded a regal geisha.

"Thank you, I think I would, a calming tea would be nice." The agent responder, really in need of a small relaxing break.

"This way please oujo-sama." The geisha waved to a fellow geisha and the female agent followed.

Unfortunately she missed the way the first one gave everyone the victory sign or how Ranma started rubbing his temples.

Looking up Ranma regarded the Masamune on his shoulders before looking left at the content yuki-onna, then down at the Murasama on his leg and finally to his right where the Kyuubi had attached herself. "I'll worry about her chastity later. Let me guess, I am to wait with the gold as the dungeon boss?"

"The honour is all yours Ranma-sama, anyone who manages to survive is worthy to be your opponent."

"Get the nekotama to watch over Sakkaki, I don't want to explain why she has bite marks tomorrow at work."

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While the tea ceremony had started out normally, Sakkaki soon decided that something was very off. The head geisha's kimono was starting to slide off more and more with every minute, revealing a chest that would make supermodels weep in envy, the two geishas on her sides were much in the same state.

The way the catgirl in the corner was watching her was sending shivers down her spine.

This felt awfully like a trap, while she was sure she was safe because of Ranma, she had the feeling that something about this set-up was very wrong.

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